Here’s the next one in communication, that is Attacking the problem without attacking the person. Here’s where language must be careful when you dealing with challenges of this nature. Sometimes you got to put love and hate in the same sentences so that there’s no misunderstanding.God said, “ I love you but I hate your sinful ways.” Maybe God hates me?? NO. NO. NO. Let me make it clear one more time. I love you but I hate your sinful ways. Sometimes parent have got to do it. Put love and hate in the same sentences. “I love you, but I hate what’s happening” “I love you, but I hate the direction you’ve chosen” “I love you, but I hate the situation you’ve got into”
Kids need to know what you love and what you hate. Because it takes both! The old prophet said, “We must love good and hate evil.”
The evil that will destroy us, the mistakes, the miscalculation that would ruin out our reputation and leave us helpless, what good benefits somebody brings to us to help point out some of the even very sensitive things to go after the problem but hopefully they go after the problem, but they have the sincere desire to truly help.
Sometimes you can get careless in language, and you mean to help but you said it wrong.
What if you meant to say,
“What’s troubling you?" And instead you said,
“What wrong with you?”
See that’s an error in language, that can cost all kind of difficulty ! Now we’ll let you make that mistake three years ago, but three years later, to be making the same error in language?? See, we need to understand that we need learn SAY IT BETTER so that it set up a better chance for communication, and talk something constructive and not come out with something wrong.
Saying it wrong? Correct all those error in verbal judgment. Here’s a good way to go after the problem : Go after the problem that you had. I call this THIRD PARTY. I thought this then it turn to be this. I made a mistakes and misunderstood, sure enough I’m had down the wrong road, about the next week and month later, I’m in serious trouble! I finally work my way out but I’m telling you can save yourself that kind calamity, with a couple words of advice.Use yourself as part of the problem, say :
“I was the problem at one time.” “I give people grief when I should give them thanks, and it create me no value .”
It calls ATTACKING THE PROBLEM IN YOURSELF.
Then here’s another way : Third Party. “I know someone, who miscalculated and if they were here, here’s what they would say :
“WITH TEARS... DON”T GO DOWN THIS ROAD.”
Remember that movie a long years ago : Scared_Straight ? They took some kids into prison and let them interview and talk to the prisoner and the prisoner said, “You don’t want to come here, Let me take you on a tour and show you what it is like.” And the kids came out the prison with eyes about big saying WOW!! The man said that I shouldn’t come here. See that’s kind of advice, straight talk can be so helpful if it is done in the right manner and the right way.
In building the house on the rock instead of the sand, how do you decide to build on the rock? You have somebody give you the image that they build on the sand and the suffered the disaster of the storm, because sometime when the day is unique and the sky is blue, and cloud is fleecy and white, it’s easy to be fake out and build it on the sand. There doesn’t seem to be an immediate consequences !
Somebody says, “The Storm ! The Storm !” And if you never had one of those storms, and you said What Storms ??” So let me tell you about this storm, and then you need someone to scare you to death about the potential of the upcoming storm so then you don’t make the mistake and be deluded when the days are nice to build your house on the sand.
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